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Why does sex work need to be decriminalised, not just legalised?

Fri, 28 Oct 2022 21:28:06 +0100

The criminalisation of sex work, sex workers and/or their clients needlessly harms vulnerable people. Advocating against evidence based policy, abolitionists have falsely touted the legalisation of sex work as the best way to achieve harm minimisation. However, creating a narrow path of ‘legal’ sex work necessitates the creation of illegal sex work which presents the same issues that we have now. The so-called ‘Nordic’ model (aka the “Entrapment model”, “Swedish Model” or “Equality Model”) that some nations in Europe have adopted, does not criminalise providers but instead targets clients. This model has been proposed in some areas of the United States and Europe in an attempt to create safer working conditions for providers. However, it has been shown to exacerbate dangerous issues for workers, as clients are forced to break the law and workers could be targeted for encouraging criminal behaviour. Clients, having already broken the law to engage a provider, are more likely to commit further crimes or take advantage of vulnerable workers.

Extensive research has proven that decriminalisation is the most effective way of not only reducing violence against sex workers but also victims of exploitation as legislation and policing efforts can be channelled more effectively. Advocates backing the decriminalisation of sex work include Amnesty International, ACLU, Human Rights Watch, Freedom Network USA [PDF], Human Rights Campaign, UNAIDS [PDF], The World Bank [PDF] and the World Health Organisation. We encourage you to learn from the linked resources, call out misinformation and hold politicians to account when they choose to uphold harmful legislation.

Source - tryst.link

How to book an escort: tips for contacting a professional

Tue, 06 Sep 2022 23:04:28 +0100

So...you’re ready to book a date with an escort. But how do you start the conversation? What should that first message or email actually say?

Perhaps you’re new to this...you’ve spent ages searching online on escort directories or classifieds. You’ve found someone you like, your fingers are poised over the keyboard or ready to dash off a quick text message.

Wait just a moment. Read this first.

Before you start, there are a few things you really need to know about arranging a session with an escort. Knowing these simple rules is the difference between having an amazing date, or an awkward one...or, perhaps, not getting a date at all.

Escorts: A quick definition

Here’s my basic definition of an escort: it’s anyone who runs their own business, offering hands-on sexy services in exchange for payment. A date with an escort often closely resembles a real-life date: you might go out to dinner together, talk for hours, and spend time getting to know each other. Or, like a good hook up, you might jump straight into bed together and discover some sizzling sexual chemistry.

When it comes to the professionals, it’s a choose-your-own-adventure. Because you’re paying someone to create a sexy experience for you, you have much more freedom to ask for what you really want.

A lot of guys assume that because they’re paying, the way they approach sex workers doesn’t matter. But they’re wrong. Read on to find out why...

How you book an escort REALLY matters.

Lots of folks think that seeing a sex worker is as easy as ordering a pizza: you call up, tell them what you want and then a package of delicious goodness arrives at your front door. Unfortunately, an escort isn’t a Super Supreme Thin-n-Crispy.

When you email or text an escort, you’re not just ordering up a service; you’re negotiating with someone who is both a businessperson and a human being. When you make contact with a sex worker, they’re going to spend the whole time they read your message trying to work out:

Whether you’re serious about booking, or just wasting their time
How safe, polite and respectful you’ll be in person
If you’re a genuine client (especially in countries where sex work is outlawed, because they might be worried you’re trying to entrap them)
What kind of experience or services you might want, and whether they can give you what you’re looking for

That’s quite a few boxes to tick, before we even agree to meet you!

If you’re polite, serious, and treat them professionally, an escort:

Will reply to you faster
Is more likely to say ‘yes’ to meeting up with you
May be more willing to spend time answering your questions
Will be more enthusiastic when you finally spend time together

On the other hand, if your very first contact makes a bad impression, you’re in for some problems...

What happens if you send an unsatisfactory booking message?

So, what happens if you dash off any old message to an escort you’ve found online, and hope for the best?

There are a number of possible outcomes - and none of them are good. Here are a few ways things can go wrong:

If your message is full of explicit words and suggestions, your escort might never see it in the first place - it may get picked up by their spam filters and sent straight to the trash.

If your writing is careless, full of spelling errors, hard to read, or doesn’t include the specific details of when and where you’d like to meet, the escort might assume you’re a time waster and ignore your message. After all, if you haven’t put much effort into your communication, she might assume you won’t put any effort into showing up.

If you don’t provide screening information such as your name and mobile number, you might appear unsafe. Although clients often worry about giving out their personal details, it’s essential. Your worker needs to feel safe, or they won’t agree to meet you.

If you’re not specific about what you want - the day, time, and length of the session, and where you want to meet them - they might think you’re not organised enough and decline to accept your booking request.

If you’ve sent multiple emails or texts to escorts and have never received a reply, it’s possible that your inquiry just isn’t up to scratch. Often, escorts will simply ignore messages that don’t appear genuine. After all, we’re busy people too!

Even if your poorly-written message leads to a sex worker accepting your booking, it can also result in you getting a bad service. If your escort has spent ages trying to work out what you want, or if it’s taken twenty messages back and forth before they have all the information they need, they’ll have less energy and enthusiasm left to spend during your time together.

That means less fun, less enthusiasm, and (probably) bad sex. If you want your escort to look forward to meeting you rather than dread it, sending an excellent first message is crucial.

Now that you know why this is important, here’s my personal guide on how to write a really good message to request a session with an escort.

Whether you’re starting out or having trouble getting an escort to reply to your messages, following this step-by-step process can help.

Think about the first impression you’re making. Are you showing that you’re someone who can be trusted? Are you organised? Do you know what you want? Have you worked out all the details of the session - the day and time you’d like to meet, and where you’d like the date to take place? Doing this work in your head beforehand makes you look like you know what you’re doing.

Here are the steps to follow when contacting an escort.

Step 1: Introduce yourself

Tell them your name, a little about yourself, and how you heard about the escort you’re contacting. This allows us to get to know you a little better.

Step 2: List the specifics - when, where, and how long.

Unless an escort has the exact details of the session you want, they can’t work out whether they’re free to see you. Not all escorts are available 24/7, and we often need to plan ahead! Your escort will also need to know whether you want an incall or outcall (and if it’s an outcall, they’ll need to know the name of the hotel or the suburb where you want them to visit).

Step 3: Ask for what you want

A lot of escort clients assume that every escort session is the same, and that they don’t need to talk about what kind of sex they want. Or they might feel too embarrassed to open up about the kind of experience they’re hoping to have. If this is you, it’s totally understandable!

But in order for an escort to give you a good service, they need to know what kind of experience you want. That means getting specific about the particular services or activities you’re interested in.

This doesn’t need to be complicated - and it shouldn’t turn into a porn essay, either. Just list a few things you’d like to try, so that your escort can tell you whether they provide those services. No need to be shy - we’re very open minded!

A note for USA clients: In places where sex work is criminalised, you won’t be able to ask for services - or talk about sex at all - in your message. Talking about swapping sex for money is a big no-no. Unfortunately, this means that in order to ask for specific sexual services, you’re going to need to meet an escort and get to know them a little first before you can talk specifics.

If your escort says ‘no’ to a particular activity, don’t be offended. We’re all different in what we enjoy! It’s better to find out now, than to go on a date together and then discover that you’re not compatible. NEVER try to talk a sex worker into doing something that they’ve said ‘no’ to - it will only make us dislike you, and you’ll get a very bad service.

‘Message mistakes’ to avoid

During my time in the sex industry, I’ve noticed that some issues come up over and over. Here are some of the most common ‘first contact’ etiquette mistakes that clients make. You’ll want to avoid these at all costs!

Poorly-written text messages - I know it can be tempting to use slang or abbreviations...after all, that’s often how we talk with our friends online and via sms, right? But your message to an escort needs to be professional, no matter how you send it. That means skipping the ‘Hey hru’ and ‘you avail?’ and putting together a few whole sentences. If you don’t, your escort may assume you’re a timewaster.

Sexting and raunchy chat - It might also be tempting to go into a lot of sexy detail about the stuff you want. Even thinking about seeing an escort can make you pretty horny, right? But now’s not the time. You need to treat your escort like a pro until you actually meet them in person - that means no dirty talk, and DEFINITELY no dick pics. (Extra tip: If sexting and dirty talk is a way you build anticipation for a booking, consider asking your escort if they can offer this kind of service for an extra fee.)

Asking basic questions that are covered in our advertising - When you book an escort, you need to be prepared. That means reading their ad or website thoroughly so you don’t ask any obvious questions. Things like ‘How much do you charge?’ or ‘Where are you located?’ will alert your escort to the fact that you haven’t done your homework.

Asking for sex without a condom - Escorts care about safer sex! We need to stay healthy and STI-free in order to work. Please don’t ask us for services that aren’t protected! We’ll simply say ‘no’, and it could cost you the chance to meet up.

Requesting additional photos - Sometimes a client might worry that his escort won’t look like her photos in person, and ask for more images so that he can feel reassured. While I understand the nervousness, it’s not okay to ask for pics. Instead, do your research. Follow your escort on social media and check out their selfies, or search their website so you can see all the images they have to offer.

Last-minute or late-night messages - this might not be a rule for everyone, but most escorts prefer a little notice when planning a session. An ‘Are you free now?’ message is rarely answered, because most escorts simply can’t be available all the time. If you send a lot of last-minute or late-night messages, your escort may assume you don’t value their time due to the lack of courtesy.

"Okay, I’ve contacted an escort. What happens now?"

Once you’ve sent that message, you need to wait. This is the hardest bit - it might take a worker two or three days to get back to you, and all that wondering can be nerve wracking!

But it’s important to resist the urge to send follow-up messages. Your escort is a businessperson, and they probably have their hands full with other work (and other clients). If you spam them over and over, they’ll probably decide they don’t want to see you.

Instead, take a deep breath, put your phone or computer away, and find something to distract yourself for a few days. In due course, you should hear back with a 'yes' or 'no'.

If you've waited a few days and haven't received a reply, it might be time to try the next worker on your list. And if you contact a few workers and never hear back, re-read the 'dos' and 'don't's above to make sure you haven't accidentally said anything inappropriate.

Now you know how to make a great first impression.

Arranging an escort booking takes a bit of thought, to ensure everything goes well. But once you’re on your way, you’ll be glad of the time you invested in crafting a good booking request. Because when you act and sound like a gentleman at first contact, your escort will be delighted to meet you - and you’ll have a much better date.

8 Rules of etiquette when hiring an escort for a date

Tue, 06 Sep 2022 01:19:44 +0100

Are you feeling lonely? Bored? Or want a new experience?

There are many reasons why you might consider hiring an escort. Maybe you have a busy work schedule that prevents you from going on conventional dates, or maybe you just want some companionship. Whatever your reasons, there are some rules of etiquette you need to keep in mind.

1. Make Sure You’re Not Unkempt

This is probably one of the most important points on this list. For the most part, you should treat hiring an escort as if you had an actual date. You wouldn’t turn up to a date wearing worn-out clothes, with unwashed hair and uncut fingernails, so you shouldn’t do that with an escort.

Nothing will turn meeting with an escort awkward faster than if you show up to meet her unwashed and dressed poorly. On the other hand, if you dress to impress, she’s more likely to want to impress you. An escort is almost certainly going to spend a lot of time and effort on her appearance, so it’s only fair that you should too.

2. Be Prepared for Conversation

Something else that can quickly kill the atmosphere during a date with an escort is a lack of conversation. Awkward silences can quickly kill the mood for both parties.

If you’re someone who’s not so outgoing, it won’t hurt to prepare a few topics of conversation in advance. There’s no need to plan anything too in-depth; just try to have a few relatable or interesting things to talk about during the night.

If there are any awkward silences, you know you already have something to talk about prepared.

3. Don’t Get Too Personal

While you should have plenty of things to talk about when you hire an escort, you should make sure you don’t ask any questions that are too personal. She might not want to share details about her personal life with you.

There are many good reasons for this. For example, her family might not know what she does for a living, and it could cause her some serious problems if her profession were ever to come to light.

On top of that, it’s not unheard of for clients to obsess over an escort and try to find out where she lives or her social media accounts. Stick to more general topics, such as her hobbies and interests.

4. Answer Her Questions

An escort might try to gauge what sort of person you are by asking you some personal questions. It might seem unfair that she can ask personal questions of you when you can’t ask her. Understand that she’s probably doing this to assess if the situation is safe for her.

If you act defensive and don’t answer, it may cause her to get nervous. For the date to go smoothly, you should just answer honestly.

5. Be Honest About What You Expect from the Escort

When hiring an escort, don’t expect her to read your mind. You should be honest about what your intentions are from the very beginning. Don’t try and spring things on her in the middle of the date.

Before you meet in person, the escort should be fully aware of your plans and expectations. Not every escort has sex with their clients. If this is something you expect, you need to make it explicitly clear from the very beginning.

6. Don’t Get Drunk

It’s natural to feel nervous about meeting an escort, particularly if it’s your first time. Perhaps one drink to calm your nerves is a good idea, but anything more is asking for trouble.

Being drunk for the initial meeting probably isn’t going to go down well and will make a bad impression. If you do intend to get intoxicated during the date, you should let the escort know beforehand.

Not every escort wants to drink with you. If you intend to get drunk, it’s probably best you find someone who’s on the same page.

When having sex with an escort, you should still bring your A game. This is something you probably won’t be able to do if you’re ten beers into a drinking session.

7. Have the Exact Fee Ready

When hiring an escort, it’s customary to have the payment ready to go. The money should be the exact amount requested and ideally, it should be all in paper money, no coins.

Also, don’t expect the escort to provide you with change. Having the correct amount is your responsibility.

You should put the money in an envelope. She may want to count the money, so to make things less awkward, you should offer to let her count it, so she doesn’t need to ask.

It’s always a good idea to count the money together, as this prevents any conflict or misunderstandings later on.

8. Treat Her with Respect

The golden rule when hiring an escort is to treat her with respect. Even if you make some mistakes in the etiquette, as long as you’re respectful at all times, you shouldn’t have any major issues.

Remember: at the end of the day, an escort is a professional and you should treat her as such. While an escort might have a good time with you, you shouldn’t expect your relationship to go beyond a transactional one. You wouldn’t expect a chef to come and cook in your kitchen for free after you’ve eaten in their restaurant once, after all.

Also, you should make sure you only hire an escort you’re attracted to. Escort services almost always have pictures of their workers available, so make sure you take the time to find one you find genuinely attractive.

Have Fun and Be Safe

Hiring an escort can be a satisfying and rewarding experience. One of the big mistakes that first-timers often make is hiring an escort before they’re ready.

So don’t be impulsive. Take your time, and things are sure to go smoothly.

Preparation for Your Escort Booking

Sat, 27 Aug 2022 21:17:55 +0100

Even though you are paying good money to spend some quality time with an escort, making a good first impression is still important to help make the date go smoothly. You can rest assured that she also invests a lot of time in looking great and smelling nice for you.

A good first impression will set the tone for your night with the escort of your choice. But remember that you only have one chance to get it right. Fortunately, it doesn’t take a lot of effort to make your escort happy. Here are some basic preparation tips that will get you ready for your date.

START WITH HYGIENE

There is no doubt that you’d be turned off by a potential date who looks rough or unkempt. The same applies to the beautiful escort you are about to meet. When it comes to hygiene, you want to start by trimming your nails. The last thing you want to do is hurt her during a blissful moment. Do not forget to trim your toenails while you’re at it.

Get into the shower an hour before the date. Use some scented shampoo on your hair to get that smelling nice A scented body wash will also do a good job in letting her know you are clean and fresh. If you use cologne, this is the right time to splash it on.

Facial hair is great, it showcases your masculinity. Remember that keeping it short and neat makes you look even more handsome. You can have your barber trim it accordingly for the date. Ear and nose hair are also a big turn-off so getting rid of it is a good idea.

In addition to that, shaggy hair may suggest that you don’t pay attention to your hygiene. It could also make your date feel a little bit apprehensive. You do not her to think that you are a junky or in any way dangerous. Regardless of whether your hair is short or long, you should not only wash it but also condition it.

ENSURE YOUR ETIQUETTE IS SPOT ON

Although your arrangement with an escort is purely transactional, you still need to treat her right. If you are disrespectful, your date will not be looking forward to having sex with you. They will just do it out of obligation. That is undoubtedly not the kind of experience you are looking for. In your quest to find an escort on VIIU, you should endeavour to be on your A-game.

First off, keep yourself from getting overly personal. Escorts have a private and business life. You want to stay on the right side of the line to avoid any awkwardness. Refrain from asking invasive questions. The conversation should be kept fun and endearing. You can compliment her and go with the flow with the topics that arise from the conversation. In some cases, you will be surprised about how intelligent some escorts are.

The second rule is to not get drunk. If you lose control and drink too much, you probably will not have all the fun you envisioned. Becoming uncontrollable may also mean that she has no other choice but to call off the date. It’s okay to drink a little to banish the nerves but stay on top of your game.

KNOW WHAT IS EXPECTED OF YOU

Apart from being clean, you should be fully aware of what your date expects from you. For instance, how much does she want for the time spent together? How much more money will you need if you extend the request by an hour or more? Getting this out the way keeps the both of you on the same page. It eliminates the chances of getting into an argument.

Some men meet an escort and become too shy to ask for what they want. Steer away from such a situation by asking the questions early. If you cannot ask during a one-on-one conversation, use messages. Most escorts are experienced. They will help you ease into a difficult topic and they will make you comfortable when the time comes.

CARRY CASH

Paying an escort in cash is always the best option. Not only for you but also for her. It could be that you are an important person and you like total discretion in your escapades. She also likes to see proof that you have cash before anything happens. This is because some clients refuse to pay them. You want to be able to show that you have enough cash for the date. Carry it in many denominations just in case you are impressed and want to tip her.

PREPARE TO TAKE IT SLOW

Good sex requires some momentum. You might be paying for it, but you also want to have fun. Remember, when she likes it, you are both bound to enjoy it more. Don’t jump right in within the first few minutes of getting her into your hotel room. Instead, get to know her. The ultimate objective is to ensure that you are both relaxed.

Another vital preparation tip is to make sure your hotel room or residence is sparkling clean. Escorts do not like to walk into a messy room. This can dampen the mood instantly. A clean and welcoming place will make her feel more comfortable. It creates the perfect environment for a passionate stay.

DISCUSS YOUR INTERESTS

Do you want an escort to fulfil a specific fantasy? You want to let her know beforehand. People have different fetishes. Ask her if she is up for what you have in mind. Otherwise, she might find it offensive. Listen to her concerns and reservations to be on the safe side.

When it comes to going out on a date with a beautiful escort, preparation is key. If follow the tips outlined above., you are guaranteed of having a good time. Remember, the small details matter most. Missing them can ruin your time with a classy woman.